Indiana men’s basketball has been firmly in offseason mode for multiple weeks now between recruiting from the transfer portal and high schools while assessing how the 2022-23 season went.

We’ve been doing the same, examining each player’s season on the blog while scouting anyone joining the Hoosiers next season. But there’s still a lack of news and content and you can only look to the future so much.

When you can’t look to the future, you must search through the past for answers and boy did we remember something funny.

In case you were unaware, a Purdue fan account with a substantial following posted a cameo of Mike Woodson ahead of the first game against the Boilermakers. You know cameo, that service to pay celebrities and other figures for a shortform video?

It’s a way to talk to fans, send a quick birthday message to dads all across the donut counties of central Indiana and stay in touch with the fanbase. Why not.

Anyway, this particular cameo was paid for months in advance for some form of payoff. Woodson wished “Matty” good luck in his upcoming rivalry matchup. This, of course, referred to Purdue head coach Matt Painter.

Aside from being a weird ripoff of a notable IU account, this is just so... shallow. There’s no deep bit here, nothing you can reference for years to come. You won’t catch Purdue Twitter going “good luck matty!” because matty lost both of those games.

This Purdue account paid one hundred and thirty united states dollars (minus fees, of course) and then watched his team get dismantled by Woodson not just once, but twice in the span of a single month.

All for 285 retweet, 1,560 likes and what we can only assume is zero dollars in return because it’s twitter. That’s roughly $2.19 per retweet. Good ROI.

But that’s not what the point of this blog, no. Not only did Mike Woodson make millions of dollars coaching this basketball team, he also made an extra $130 from this guy.

How should Woodson uses these one hundred and thirty dollars? The answer, of course, is on Friday lunch. We calculate just how much lunch $130 could get across the great city of Bloomington below:

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DAGWOOD’S DELI

The Dagwood’s Supreme is the only way to go here, everyone knows this. You’re absolutely not getting the half sub either, not with this budget. All or nothing.

The full supreme sub itself is gonna go for about $15.89. Getting it with chips and a large fountain drink adds $4.48 for a grand total of $21.79 after tax. Hey man, the sub is worth it.

Woodson’s generous donation of $130 would allow him to buy this lunch just shy of six times, that’s a month and a half of Friday subs.

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NICK’S ENGLISH HUT

Perhaps you’re feeling the classics.

There may not be a more notable, well-known restaurant in Bloomington than Nick’s. Full of Hoosier memorabilia and great food, it’s a fantastic lunch spot. But what to order? The answer, of course, is the stromboli.

It’s a pizza sandwich, dude. Come on.

A whole stromboli is a bit steep at $18.99. It’s served with sweet pickles, so you won’t really need a side. A fountain drink, however, adds $3.39 for a total of $22.94 after tax. Nick’s is a sitdown place though, so let’s add a 35% because the money’s there for it. That’s $30.96. Considerable sum!

Not for Mike Woodson, who on top of making millions of dollars was paid $130 by a rival fan to record a cameo. That total would allow this exact lunch, tip and all, to be had four times. One month of Friday lunch, good stuff.

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DAT’S

Dat’s might be a slept on spot in Bloomington, especially for when you’re balling on a budget (Mike Woodson most certainly is not). It’s also one of, if not, the only spots in Bloomington that serves authentic Cajun food and used to be housed in a little home off of fourth street, giving it a unique feel among other Bloomington restaurants around Kirkwood or the square.

It’s since moved locations, but the food is the same as it’s always been, making its new location a destination for me every time I come back to Bloomington.

The menu only features ten items, and yet choosing one is impossible and perhaps unwise, considering the option to combine two entrees in a half-and-half meal priced at $10.75. Not only do you get to sample two menu items, but you are absolutely getting two meals worth of food for that price, making it a versatile leftover option.

Mike Woodson could buy 12 half-and-half meals with his $130, adding up to 24 delicious Cajun meals from our Boilermaker friend.

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Bloomingfoods

Life in Bloomington sometimes demands a health cleanse, and what better place to find the healthy foods you need than the local Co-Op Market, Bloomingfoods.

In addition to stocking all the fruits, veggies, and and drinks one could need, Bloomingfoods makes one of the better sandwiches in town, which it serves with locally-made potato chips and a pickle spear.

There are some classic sandwich options like the Italian or Turkey Melt, but they also offer things like the Chicken Caprese or Curry Chickpea sandwiches that give this a different feel from the other sub shop on our list, Dagwoods.

None of the options cost more than $9.99, meaning Woodson could safely order 13 of these bad boys with his cameo money.