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Everything YOU need to know before sitting down with the folks.

Saatva Empire Classic: Louisville v Indiana

Good afternoon and Happy Thanksgiving.

The yearly tradition where families across America gather ‘round for that famed Turkey dinner and, if you live in the Hoosier State, talking ball.

We at the crimson quarry are well aware of the trials and tribulations that come with the Hoosier Thanksgiving. Your dad wanting to talk about his new favorite quarter zip or your uncle pulling up the Peegs board while going nuts on same cranberry sauce.

As such, we have prepared the following guide to aid you through this treacherous gathering. May you escape without having to hear about just how good ball was in the 80s.

Three Point Shooting

Connecticut v Indiana

What’s that? Indiana struggling shooting the ball from deep? We’ve never seen this kind of thing before.

The Hoosiers haven’t been taking all that many threes so far and the ones they’ve shot haven’t gone down. But there’s no longer an Archie Miller to blame, it’s just kinda like this so far.

Your older brother (who swears he could sink a few if Woody gave him a jersey) is gonna rant about his version of the good ol’ days (the Crean Era) when dudes like Jordy Hulls and James Blackmon could shoot with the best of ‘em.

Your uncle (through marriage) is gonna insist his team (he’s an assistant coach at the middle school where he teaches seventh grade history) has better form than some of the Hoosiers.

To satiate their need for threes, I have prepared the following YouTube clips to queue up on your phone and put in front of them, Cocomelon-style.

The Game Is On

Syndication: The Herald-Times Rich Janzaruk/Herald-Times / USA TODAY NETWORK

Indiana women’s basketball is set to take on Tennessee at 6 p.m. ET. You’re either gonna be at the table or winding down in the family room. Either way, it’s a perfect opportunity to distract from Discourse by simply watching ball.

Turn on FOX and you’re golden.

Gabe Cupps

COLLEGE BASKETBALL: NOV 07 Florida Gulf Coast at Indiana Photo by Joe Robbins/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

Gabe Cupps.

Your Purdue Fan Uncle

Allstate Maui Invitiational - Day Three Photo by Mitchell Layton/Getty Images

Uh oh, your uncle’s Boilers just won another MTE championship and boy do your Hoosiers not look as good.

But you know what? That’s fine! Myles Colvin looks like he’s gonna be pretty good! Lance Jones hit that shot! Zach Edey wore an Expos hat.

Simply talk ball here. You will find it might be more manageable than your dad wanting to go in-depth on Woody’s lineups when all you wanna do is grab more green bean casserole.

The Football Team

NCAA Football: Indiana at Penn State Matthew O’Haren-USA TODAY Sports

You’ve never heard of a man named “Tom Allen.”

Croots Croots Croots

NCAA Basketball: Empire Classic Third Place-Indiana at Louisville Vincent Carchietta-USA TODAY Sports

Indiana landed a five-star not too long ago!

He’s also, as of right now, the only 2024 commit!

Rest assured, aunt actively going through Jeff Rabjohns’ posts on Peegs at the table, the portal opens at the end of the season and there’s gonna be enough room and resources to make something happen. Well that and Woodson has cooked with late spring recruiting.

There’s ball happening right now, no need to talk about what may or may not happen with recruiting.

And that’s how to get through your Thanksgiving without the discourse ruining your evening.

If all else fails and your relative is still trying to talk about zone defense you must resort to the fail-safe: recommending the Malik Reneau burger.