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Bill Walton was at it again during Tuesday’s telecast

Indiana’s second game in Asheville produced more beautiful and insightful Walton commentary on pH levels, Bruce Hornsby and free shirts

NCAA BASKETBALL: NOV 23 Maui Invitational - UCONN v Oregon Photo by Aric Becker/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

Some of you enjoy Bill Walton. Some of you do not. The CQ staff falls firmly in the former category, and the esteemed ESPN college basketball commentator did not disappoint us during Tuesday’s telecast of Indiana vs. Texas.

Here were some of Walton’s best insights:

  • “For those keeping score at home, Phinisee is spelled with a PH instead of an F, which really confused me while I was doing my research.”
  • “Matt Coleman! I learned who he is yesterday. This is my third straight day, and I’m really figuring it out.”
  • “Have you ever been to Norfolk? Have you found any waterfalls?”
  • (Walton barks at play-by-play man Jason Benetti) “You come around, you think this is a piece of cake, just show up and get the job done, wait for the game of life to fall in your lap, wait for someone to do something for you. Nah, man! You gotta bring it every day. You have to be on fire, like Bruce Hornsby playing on the lawn there at the Biltmore. Actually, they had to have him stop doing that because the fans were getting too intense.”
  • “If you sow ice, you’re going to harvest wins.”
  • “Are you old enough to remember yesterday?”
  • “Indiana has not been able to get Trayce and Race going. We have a situation where the edge that you have to bring every single day, the edge that LeBron James comes with, one of the three players in the history of the NBA to be drafted No. 1 overall in high school. Who were the other two?”
  • “I love Maui, all things Maui, and I’m learning to love Asheville.”
  • “How are your isoprene levels today?” (Benetti: Still high, as you are) “So they got this self-watering soil that they’ve come up with at UT.”
  • “Someone might want to tell the Longhorns — mooooooooo! — that Trayce is left-handed.”
  • (Benetti: What makes a good outlet pass, Bill?) “What’s the fourth law of learning? Repetition.
  • “Starting the fastbreak, that was my favorite part of basketball. (Benetti: It was?) “Well, I loved it all. Mostly, I loved winning. But to start the fastbreak, you have the surge of the crowd. Have you ever been to a Dead show? A Bruce Hornsby show — on the lawns there at the Biltmore where the fans are fighting because they just have so many different tastes there? Bruce brings so many different styles of music.”
  • “Asheville! Mountains! Rainbows! Waterfalls! Fauna! Flora! Yes.”
  • “Neither team is playing worth a darn.”
  • “I did a game down in Texas in Austin with Willie Nelson and Stevie Ray Vaughn, and the Kansas Jayhawks showed up. Kansas was able to win that game, but I did get a very nice T-shirt out of that game and that trip to Austin.”
  • “I sing the national anthem all the time.” (Benetti: You do? Before games, or randomly at home?) “Just at random. And I sing during the games, too.”
  • “This is the best Texas game that I’ve ever called. This is the fourth.”
  • (Benetti: You’re like the Johnny Appleseed of love.) “I love love. All you need is love. And beer.”
  • (Before a commercial, ESPN cuts to North Carolina’s team getting off the bus at the arena) “This is my favorite part of the game, when the other team shows up for the next game, so that we know we’re going to have another game. North Carolina. Wow!”
  • “Mooooooooo grrrr mooooo” (Benetti: What is that? Is that a cow?) “No, that was some methane gas escaping.”
  • “That’s Dale Davis’ son? Trayce Jackson-Davis is Dale Davis’ son? That’s the first time you’ve told me that. Dale Davis, now that guy is fantastic. Dale Davis was like El Capitan.”
  • (With IU trailing 63-42 with two minutes left) “I think Indiana’s in trouble here to win this game. Usually, to have a comeback, somebody has to play well.”
  • “We wondered when the Hoosiers would start playing. They never did. The Longhorns, they continue their cattle drive all the way to the promised land. The summit, it’s here.”