The best of Bill Walton from Monday’s telecast

The Maui Invitational tipped off on Monday, serving up a post-Thanksgiving treat to start the week:

Bill Walton in the analyst chair.

It’s been awhile since Walton did an Indiana basketball game. We haven’t heard his perfect opinions since the 2015 Maui event, back when he was obsessed with the physique of IU forward Collin Hartman (“an Adonis of the night”).

If you were busy at work, or committed to tuning into Don Fischer’s radio call, we jotted down some of Walton’s best lines of the broadcast. May the Maui Invitational never end.

• (Race Thompson draws a foul and goes to the line): “This is the best I’ve ever seen Trayce Jackson-Davis play.”
• “Archie Miller has done a remarkable job of recruiting the Hoosiers. They have Trey, who plays with Phish when he’s not playing basketball.”
• “Indiana off early, the way Davidson was in the opener this morning. Davidson could not sustain. Asheville is a city known for sustainability. They had the first school of forestry.”
• “Trey was going to throw it down. The freshman from Culver, Indiana. Not quite sure where Culver is. I know where Culver City is in California. But this is Indiana.”
• “Is Indiana immortalized in song as Carolina is?”
• “I love Maui. I love Asheville. I love ukulele music. I love Camping World. I love being alive.”
• (Play-by-play man Jason Benetti asks Walton if he’s ever met Providence mascot Friar Dom): “Yes, I have. I’ve had dinner with him on Federal Hill.”
• “I love glass blowing.”
• (Benetti mentions how Gonzaga coach Mark Few once worked security at a Grateful Dead show) “Please, we’re all former Grateful Dead security guards.” *camera pans to a Jerry Garcia cutout in the bleachers* There’s Jerry! He’s having the time of his life. What a smile. What a radiant glow.”
• “The comeback here by Providence, making this competitive, it’s really the story of Ed Cooley’s life.”
• “If Providence doesn’t stop these guys from scoring, they’re going to not give themselves a chance to win. Please!”
• “Beautiful play! And the celebration of life continues!”
• “I like the fact that the history of Indiana is so strong. Have you ever participated in the Little 500? Breaking Away. What a movie! Academy Award! I’ve been invited many times, but it’s ... it’s a little out of the way.”
• “Have you ever been to a Dead show in Providence? Wow!”
• “I love donuts.” (Benetti asks if there’s a donus he enjoys most) “Yeah, the ones with the big holes in the middle.”
• (Benetti asks Walton if he’s ever practiced voodoo) “Yes.”
• “Have you ever driven a forklift? Forklifts pick things and people up and put them in a better place.”
• “You should see my sticker collection.”
• “Sage Steele makes tomorrow worth fighting for.”
• “I love Asheville. I love camping. I love being alive.”
• “One of the casualties of COVID-19 in Asheville is the drum circle that they usually have in Pritchard Park on Fridays is not able to be maintained.”
• “Waxon Studio. 726 Haywood road, Asheville, NC. 28806. Waxon Studio dot com, where all your dreams come true.”
• “A 21-point victory! Wow! Math was my best subject.” (Benetti asks about his second-best subject) “It’s an endless list.”