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Every, single 2018 Indiana football game, predicted.

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This always goes exceedingly well for us, historically.

Before we dive into the predictions, let’s circle back to last year and see how things went overall:

Final Record Predictions

Alex Robbins - 9-3

Jack Grossman - 7-5

Sean Mintert - 9-3

Eddie Cotton - 8-4

Adam Leightman - 9-3

Auston Matricardi - 9-3

Michael Tilka - 9-3

Jacob Rude - 8-4

David Siegel - 12-0

Kyle Swick - 8-4

Indiana finished 5-7 and it seemed so much worse. That’s the juice right there. Inject that directly into my neck.

It wasn’t a complete whiff, however. Three of us correctly predicted how many points Rutger was gonna score against us last year, and eight of us correctly predicted that Indiana would blow them the hell out. HOWEVER, none of us correctly predicted that we’d even play Charleston Southern last year, much less beat them. SAD!

Oh good christ here we go:

GAME 1: @ Florida International

Aggregate Score: 28.00 - 17.38, W

KYLE: I don’t know, despite all the years of watching IU football, I just can’t get freaked out about this game. IU, 33-7

BEN: Tough task to go on the road and open against an improved panthers team with a good coach. i think IU’s talent will ultimately win out but there will be some dicey moments. IU, 24-17.

AUSTON: This should be an easy win for the Hoosiers, which means they’ll let FIU hang around for most of the game. IU, 24-14.

DAVID: After the Hurricane Irma cancelled game last year, IU squeaks out a win on the road that neither side goes home happy about. IU, 30-27.

JACOB: Prediction: Peyton Ramsey will start this game. Brandon Dawkins will finish this game and it won’t be due to IU blowing FIU out. IU, 28-17.

JACK: A game I originally had the Hoosiers losing due to the game being on the road against an 8 win team from a year ago, but FIU loses a lot of top talent from its offense and IU’s receivers should have their way against a terrible pass defense, assuming whoever the QB is can hit their man. IU, 24-20.

LAYDS: My favorite part of this game will be when the offense goes three-and-out on the first two drives and I’m standing on my coffee table yelling for Mike Debord’s job. It will probably be fine, though. IU, 37-17.

ALEX: After three quarters of wondering if we’re in for an 0-12 season, Peyton Ramsey (who will be the starter) finally gets the offense going and two fourth quarter touchdowns put the Hoosiers in the win column. IU, 24-20.

GAME 2: v. Virginia

Aggregate Score: 21.75 - 18.50, W

KYLE: Whoops! UVA, 23-20.

BEN: Did you know that UVA basketball lost to a 16-seed by 20 points? I wouldn’t want people to forget this. IU, 20-16.

AUSTON: IU should win this game, but it feels like a game where they could come out flat and drop a game to an inferior team. Stay tuned for the UMBC jokes though. UVA, 21-20.

DAVID: After a convincing win last year against UVA, this one stays close, but a late Morgan Ellison TD puts the Hoosiers over the top. IU, 23-20.

JACOB: Brandon Dawkins will start this game, underwhelm but Indiana hangs on. IU, 24-17.

JACK: The Cavaliers are not the same team that IU smacked a year ago, as dual threat QB transfer Bryce Perkins will take the reigns. Dual threats have given Tom Allen defenses trouble, and UVA will look to show well in their first test since losing 49-7 to Navy in the Military Bowl. UVA, 14-13.

LAYDS: This game will probably be akin to two drunk cousins setting off fireworks in their backyard. Whoever blows off their hand first loses. And if there’s one thing Indiana knows, it’s questionable situations involving fireworks. Hoosiers win. IU, 24-16.

ALEX: After several hours of day drinking for the first time in their lives, the Class of 2022 run onto the field at Memorial Stadium to a chorus of boos from the upperclassmen, only for the drunkest of them all to trip over the 15-yard line and cause a traffic jam worse than you’ll find on 37 between Bloomington and Martinsville. IU, 30-21.

GAME 3: v. Ball State

Aggregate Score: 33.75 - 13.5, W

KYLE: Ball State has to be pretty bad for me to not believe IU won’t figure out a way to lose to them. Lucky me! IU, 29-9.

BEN: The Cardinals have been a tricky team for the hoosiers in the past but I don’t think they’re quite there yet to challenge IU this year. IU, 35-7.

AUSTON: The Hoosiers take care of business after that embarrassing loss to Virginia, which could serve as an early season wake up call. IU, 38-17.

DAVID: For the first time in what seems like this century, IU coasts to a win against the fightin’ Jason Whitlocks. IU, 34-20.

JACOB: Dawkins will look good because Ball State is bad and we’ll talk ourselves into him being legit. IU, 31-21.

JACK: Mike Penix takes over at quarterback after the offense sputtered against Virginia and flourishes against a bad Ball State team. IU, 35-3.

LAYDS: This game will be awful. IU, 30-21.

ALEX: Every Purdue fan you know will say “chirp, chirp” like they’re lifelong Ball State fans after the Cardinals take on Notre Dame and Indiana in back to back weeks. But it won’t be enough to make them happy with their miserable lives or to stop Indiana from starting 3-0. IU, 38-10.

GAME 4: v. Michigan State

Aggregate Score: 11.88 - 27.88, L

KYLE: Welcome to conference play! MSU, 27-6.

BEN: The only time IU’s won the Spittoon in recent memory, Sparty went 3-9 on the season. That won’t happen if Brian Lewerke continues to improve at QB. MSU, 28-10.

AUSTON: No Old Brass Spittoon for the Hoosiers this season. The Spartans should have an improved team. MSU, 27-13.

DAVID: While MSU’s athletic department continues to be a shitshow, their football team is not. This one won’t be close. MSU, 38-17.

JACOB: Dawkins will not be good. He will look very bad. MSU, 34-7.

JACK: The Hoosiers upset a ranked Sparty two years ago in Bloomington. But this isn’t that Michigan State team. Michigan State will out muscle the Hoosiers to grind out a victory. MSU, 24-14.

LAYDS: Be aware that Michigan State will be 1-1 coming into this game because a team coached by Herm Edwards in two thousand eighteen will have beaten them by 14 points two weeks prior. And then they will proceed to set Memorial Stadium on fire. LJ SCOTT IS STILL THERE. MSU, 40-21.

ALEX: I had a dream a few nights ago that Sparty took this one 5-4 after Ramsey shanked a last-second drop kick field goal attempt. But what subconscious didn’t know is that after Ramsey and the offense sputter in this one, Mike Penix comes in and saves the day. And he can drop kick the shit out of the ball. IU, 7-5.

GAME 5: @ Rutger

Aggregate Score: 43.63 - 15.75, W

KYLE: r ü t g e r. IU, 69-0.

BEN: Huge trap game potential in between MSU and OSU but Rutger is still rebuilding under Ash and I think IU handles them just fine. IU, 27-13.

AUSTON: IU let’s the Scarlet Knights hang around for a while, but eventually the dam breaks and it’s all Hoosiers. IU, 69-21.

DAVID: The NCAA recognizes this as a Big Ten win. Who are we to judge? IU, 30-15.

JACOB: Michael Penix will start, struggle, we’ll freak out for three-and-a-half quarters about losing to Rutger before barely surviving. IU, 34-31.

JACK: It’s Rutger. IU, 69-6.

LAYDS: Football will be played. I will not be watching. Rutger, 20-17.

ALEX: I dread this week already. Not because Indiana will lose, but because Pauly D and Snooky (sp?) will be in our mentions and that’s not good for anyone. IU, 34-20.

GAME 6: @ Ohio State

Aggregate Score: 14.88 - 45.00, L

KYLE: Not mad, actually laughing. OSU, 49-0.

BEN: No matter who the coach is, this will be a bloodbath with all the Buckeyes’ talent and a vengeful Kevin Wilson on OSU staff. OSU, 42-14.

AUSTON: The Kevin Wilson Revenge Game returns, and shoot he has a nonzero chance of being the head coach at that point. Don’t expect the Buckeyes to let up much once it gets to garbage time. OSU, 42-17.

DAVID: OSU head coach Kevin Wilson runs up the score against his former team, and puts a cherry on top with a garbage-time touchdown from his starters. OSU, 51-20.

JACOB: Very excited for IU to start a true freshman in Columbus, lead heading into the third and lose big. OSU, 35-17.

JACK: The Hoosiers have come close the last few years, but even amid the Zach Smith saga, you have to feel like Ohio State is overdue to just roll over the Hoosiers. The game is in Columbus. Indiana is really young. That’s a formula that could cause the game to get ugly. OSU, 42-10.

LAYDS: Urban Meyer will still be coaching this team and Ohio State will probably not lose in the regular season because the world is an unfair place. OSU, 52-28.

ALEX: The Big Ten East is bullshit. OSU, 47-13.

GAME 7: v. Iowa

Aggregate Score: 16.63 - 21.88, L

KYLE: Oh hey it’s Homecoming. Wonder what will happen?! Iowa, 3-2.

BEN: Predicting an Iowa game is an impossible task, but it’s Homecoming and IU always loses in a really stupid way on homecoming. Iowa, 19-17.

AUSTON: It’s homecoming, so in true Hoosier fashion IU will hold a fourth quarter lead before blowing it. Iowa, 24-20.

DAVID: Kirk Ferentz uses his 74 years of experience to outlast a late IU push to deny the Hoosiers yet again. Iowa, 31-27.

JACOB: Penix will struggle again and we’ll start to wonder if it’s time to go back to Ramsey. I’m dreading this season already. Iowa, 28-9.

JACK: Indiana hasn’t won a Homecoming game since the Bill Lynch era. The Hoosiers will show heart after being demolished in Columbus but will fade late against the Hawkeyes. Iowa, 24-13.

LAYDS: Here’s your annual “football doesn’t even make sense” win. This offense will look like it’s not run by a cardboard cutout offensive coordinator for no other reason than the law of averages. Kirk Ferentz will punt in IU’s territory at least twice. IU, 26-17.

ALEX: Ah, Homecoming. A chance for generations of Hoosiers to gather at The Rock and yearn for days past. A chance for us to relive college. And most assuredly a chance for us to remember all the painful losses that this celebration has brought Indiana football. Iowa, 20-19.

GAME 8: v. Penn State

Aggregate Score: 19.25 - 33.38, L

KYLE: Lot of folks quietly talking about this as Indiana’s chance for a breakthrough victory this season. They’ll respond accordingly. PSU, 44-14.

BEN: A classic “IU leads in the fourth quarter and loses by multiple scores” scenario here. PSU, 38-24.

AUSTON: No Saquon Barkley, no problem for Penn State. Trace McSorley is back and that should be enough for the Nittany Lion offense to put up plenty of points. PSU, 34-14.

DAVID: IU shocks a lackadaisical Penn St at home in Tom Allen’s first true statement win of his Indiana tenure. IU, 34-31.

JACOB: Knowing how much punting they will do, IU elects to start its punter at QB and punts on a second down trailing 12-9 in the third quarter. PSU, 15-12.

JACK: Indiana goes into the fourth quarter with the lead against a top ten team, we know what happens next. It wouldn’t be a true IUFB projection without including a frustrating moral victory. PSU, 32-29.

LAYDS: I’m planting my flag in the “Penn State will lose at least 3 games” camp. But, uh, probably not this one. PSU, 38-13.

ALEX: Indiana probably won’t win. But I’ll bet you anything Saquon Barkley doesn’t go for 17 touchdowns or whatever in the hell again. PSU, 35-14.

GAME 9: @ Minnesota

Aggregate Score: 20.88 - 24.00, L

KYLE: Minnesota just named a true freshman walk-on as their starting QB. That’s not typically a good thing. Why did PJ Fleck take this job? IU, 28-18.

BEN: Ugh, a weird Friday night start on Halloween weekend in a place where IU rarely goes. I hate everything about this game already. Minny, 23-13.

AUSTON: PJ Fleck’s crew rows the boat right through the Hoosiers, but it should be a competitive game. Minny, 27-21.

DAVID: Indiana plays like a high school team under the Friday night lights and misses out on a big opportunity for a much-needed win. Minny, 23-10.

JACOB: Penix and Ramsey share QB duties and both look predictably bad. Minny, 28-13.

JACK: Mike Penix and the Hoosier offense perform well for a second consecutive week but PJ Fleck is more comfortable in his second year in the Twin Cities. If this was in Bloomington, I’d probably lean towards the Hoosiers but too much to expect them to win this game on the road. Minny, 38-31.

LAYDS: By this time in the year this offense will either have some semblance of competence (PENIX COMIN’) or it will be an enflamed couch in the middle of Kirkwood Avenue. PJ Fleck is overrated and just named a walk-on true freshman as his starting quarterback. I feel optimistic. I probably shouldn’t. IU, 24-14.

ALEX: After eight weeks of riding the pine and a couple hours of wondering why he left the sweet desert climate to freeze to death in Minneapolis, Brandon Dawkins gets his chance after injuries and/or tomfoolery amongst the other two quarterbacks and leads the Hoosiers to bowl eligibility just before frostbite renders him unavailable for the rest of the season. IU, 27-21.

GAME 10: v. Maryland

Aggregate Score: 29.63 - 23.13, W

KYLE: Indiana’s big mistake last season was losing this game. Maryland has a thousand problems off the field and not that many fewer on it. IU, 28-14.

BEN: The coaching situation isn’t resolved there right now, and I really like getting the Terps at home off a bye week. IU, 41-21.

AUSTON: After losing four straight games this one will be a morale booster for Hoosier Nation heading into two big games to end the season. IU, 35-24.

DAVID: The bye week continues a little too long as the Hoosiers fall at home vs a very beatable Maryland team. Maryland, 27-13.

JACOB: The only team who will look worse than IU this year will Maryland. In a special package for him, Dawkins will throw for a touchdown and run for two as all three QBs play. IU, 31-21.

JACK: IU’s loss in College Park was the most crushing of the 2017 campaign (and likely cost the Hoosiers a bowl appearance). With this game in Bloomington, tons of controversy around the Maryland program and with IU coming off a much needed bye week, Indiana will get some revenge and end a 4 game losing streak. IU, 42-35.

LAYDS: The idea of a team with a surrounding controversy that will most likely win 3 games coming into Bloomington and beating the nipples off a Hoosiers team that really needs a win to get bowl-eligible seems like the perfect storm in this scenario, but I’m leaning into the “IU gets to 7 wins” premise. I should be driven to the desert and left there. IU, 20-16.

ALEX: The inevitable letdown comes against Maryland. The Terms will be 3-6, clinging to the slightest hopes of bowl eligibility and after they run all over Indiana, it will hit me that a Matt Canada football team just beat Indiana, forcing me to confront my fears that at some point in life, Doug Mallory will win a game in Bloomington as a visiting head coach. Maryland, 37-27.

GAME 11: @ Michigan

Aggregate Score: 12.75 - 24.13, L

KYLE: Don’t go spreading this around but I think Michigan is gonna be pretty good this year. Michigan, 35-10.

BEN: We’re gonna lose this game real close and Michigan fans are going to brag about how great their 8-3 team is and I already can’t wait to be completely annoyed. Michigan, 13-9.

AUSTON: Here’s your yearly scheduled heartbreaking loss to the Wolverines. It ends IU’s quest for 6 wins. Michigan, 13-9.

DAVID: Michigan thoroughly outclasses Indiana for once, putting them away early and often. Michigan, 41-17.

JACOB: IU leads by a field goal with five minutes to go with the ball and will manage to lose big. Michigan, 28-13.

JACK: Harbaugh has struggled against his brother in law’s former school, but Indiana has not been able to beat the Wolverines. Michigan hits 6 field goals and wins an extremely annoying game to watch in a frozen Ann Arbor. Michigan, 18-10.

LAYDS: So, here’s a thing – I think Michigan will probably win the East. I also think that this game will be close for some reason and then Chris Evans will score on an 68-yard touchdown run with 1:15 left to play and then IU will throw a hail mary into the end zone, it will be batted down with blatant defensive pass interference going uncalled and this blog will have material for an eternity. Michigan, 24-17.

ALEX: TRAP. GAME. With a big rivalry on tap the following weekend, and some rough weather north of the border, the team that should win just isn’t focused and dreadfully, torturously lets one slip away. Michigan, 21-17.

GAME 12: v. Purdue

Aggregate Score: 26.88 - 31.5, L

KYLE: Purdue loses this game and Brohm takes the Louisville job hours later. Happy Thanksgiving! IU, 23-21.

BEN: Purdue is replacing a lot of players, especially on defense, but I have a feeling Brohm will have them ready for this one, and I just can’t shake the feeling that last year’s Bucket game wasn’t close until the final few minutes. Purdue, 44-35.

AUSTON: A team that’s basically out of bowl contention against their rival that could be playing for a 6th or 7th win? What could possibly go wrong? Purdue, 35-17.

DAVID: A shootout with a much-improved Purdue team gives way to a cathartic, bowl-clinching victory over Jeff Brohm’s squad. IU, 33-31.

JACOB: With the season on the line the second-straight season, Purdue beats IU before Jeff Brohm leaves for the Louisville job. Purdue, 31-17.

JACK: With Brohm at the helm for at least the next year (as well as being in the weaker side of the conference), Purdue has at the moment passed IU as a football program. Purdue, 35-24.

LAYDS: IU will win. Brohm will go straight from the locker room at Memorial Stadium to Louisville. The moon landing was filmed in the same studio a M.A.S.H. IU, 35-31.

ALEX: With the Hoosiers at 6-5 and Purdue at 5-7, the Boilers come to Bloomington with far more to play for than the Old Oaken Bucket. At halftime, as Purdue clings to a 7-point lead, word spreads through the crowd that Bobby Petrino had a moped accident on his way to [Redacted] Cardinal Stadium to face Kentucky. Jeff Brohm spends the entire second half updating his résumé and Tom Allen’s boys lay claim to a spot in the Music City Bowl (finally). IU, 31-24.

FINAL RECORDS:

KYLE: 6-6 (4-5)

BEN: 5-7 (2-7)

AUSTON: 4-8 (2-7)

DAVID: 6-6 (3-6)

JACOB: 5-7 (2-7)

JACK: 4-8 (2-7)

LAYDS: 7-5 (4-5)

ALEX: 7-5 (4-5)

AVERAGE: 5.5 - 6.5 (2.875 - 6.125)

AGGREGATE: 5 - 7 (2 - 7)