The Indiana Hoosiers are #1 in our way-too-early preseason top-25 basketball poll

With the college basketball season coming to a close last night, everybody wants to start talking about next year. Even worse, websites are producing preseason Top-25 polls for next season and for whatever reason you people are clicking on them.

CONSUME.

1. INDIANA HOOSIERS

The Hoosiers lead our top-25 poll after replacing Tom Crean with Archie Miller. Miller is expected to retain a lot of last year’s Transitive National Champions and also I like Indiana the most so they were an easy pick for number one.

2. MIAMI HURRICANES

With Bruce Brown likely to hold off on the NBA for at least one more year along with several other key players returning and a great recruiting class, Miami should have a great year. Also I like Miami the second-most so, again, a no-brainer for this spot.

3. MONMOUTH HAWKS

Do they still do the bench celebrations? Those were great. If they don’t, someone let me know, would probably cause them to go from #3 to unranked rather quickly. Just like the 2016-17 Indiana Ho-

4. FORT WAYNE MASTODONS

These guys beat Indiana last year and then I didn’t pay any more attention to them after that. I assume they had a pretty good year. The Summit League should be way up next year.

5. IPFW MASTODONS

With both basketball programs poised for massive years, all eyes will be on The City of Churches.

6. GEORGIA TECH YELLOW JACKETS

The national runners-up return most of their personnel for their second year under Josh Pastner. Also they beat Indiana on the road last year, this team is crazy good and too many are sleeping on them.

7. MARQUETTE GOLDEN EAGLES

Make no mistake, Tom Crean is building a monster up in Minnesota or wherever the hell this school is.

8. NORTH CAROLINA TAR HEELS

Big expectations for Roy Williams in Chapel Hill, and if he doesn’t break through soon he’ll be at the top of my Top-25 Coaches on the Hot Seat. Success at UNC is measured solely by championships and it’s time for him to deliver.

9. VERMONT CATAMOUNTS

The Catamounts return most of the team that would have beaten Purdue had Kurt Steidl not been injured. They also return the greatest nickname in collegiate sport. They should be ranked higher than this but I just now thought of them and I’m writing these rankings in pen.

10. KENTUCKY WILDCATS

Hey #BBN this is where I’m seriously ranking you and there’s nothing you can do about it. Don’t read anything else on this page.

11. VIRGINIA CAVALIERS

Gonna go out on a limb here and say the Cavs win 29 games and don’t get out of the first weekend. Should be a great season in Charlottesville.

12. WESTERN VIRGINIA MOUNTAINEERS

It’s setting up the be a wild year in the Old Dominion! Speaking of which ...

13. OLD DOMINION MONARCHS

The Monarchs nearly beat some pretty good teams last year, have to believe they’ll close the deal this time around.

14. WISCONSIN BADGERS

Isn’t this where Wisconsin is contractually obligated to be ranked?

15. BUTLER BULLDOGS

Definitely one of the better low-major programs in the state. With Roosevelt Jones and Kellen Dunham coming back, the Bulldogs could make some serious noise.

16. HOUSTON ROCKETS

Kelvin Sampson has things humming at the University of Houston, have to believe if he has one more decent year he’ll finally get a shot at high-major ball.

17. MICHIGAN STATE SPARTANS

18. KANSAS JAYHAWKS

19. DUKE BLUE DEVILS

Forgot to put these guys in there. They should be decent.

20. SUNDERLAND A.F.C.

Doesn’t look like David Moyes is going to be able to keep the Black Cats out of the drop zone.

21. DETROIT LIONS - Adoree Jackson, CB, USC

It’s no secret the Lions desperately need to shore up their secondary and Jackson is likely to be the best available at their pick. The Southern California corner will also add a dimension of explosiveness to the Lions’ kick return game.

22. GONZAGA BULLDOGS

Gonzaga should be really, really good again next year but honestly there are just way too many teams nicknamed “Bulldogs” so I had to dock them for that.

23. ARIZONA WILDCATS

Same concept.

24. WICHITA STATE

Next year is supposed to be Gregg Marshall’s best team ever but with the report that the Shockers are moving from the Missouri Valley to a lesser basketball conference in the American, hard to see them getting the kind of good wins needed to move up the polls.

25. ORLANDO MAGIC - Rodions Kurucs, SF, FC Barcelona II

The Magic are definitely at the “draft-and-stash” stage of their rebuild, and the Latvian forward fits the bill.

ALSO RECEIVING VOTES: nobody. These are the only 25 teams allowed to be in the poll for all of next season and also that’s how big the NCAA tournament field will be as well. I make the rules. If you’re not on this list you’ve got no chance, try to not suck next time and maybe you’ll get on here.