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Ten suggestions for Indiana’s 10th assistant football coach

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Who should Tom Allen add to his staff?

NCAA Football: Foster Farms Bowl-Indiana vs Utah Greg M. Cooper-USA TODAY Sports

Today, the NCAA announced that starting in 2018, college football teams will be able to add a 10th assistant coach to their staffs. This seems like a logical move to me, as that extra person to help with in recruiting, game strategy, and running day-to-day operations of a program could come in handy.

Needless to say, we have some suggestions for who this 10th coach should be. Our suggestions are as follows:

1. Nick Saban

Indiana might as well strive for the best possible candidate for this position. It is my opinion that Nick Saban is the best possible college football coach. Therefore he should be the Hoosiers’ first call for the role of the 10th assistant. Roll Tide.

2. Jon Gruden

Gruden was at the Spring Game last night, and he even said he wanted to be part of the program. Well what better way to get involved than as an IU assistant?

3. Tom Crean

He recently is back on the market. Might as well snag him up before another team gets him! Might be awkward when IU faces off against Michigan, though.

4. Kendrick Lamar

I mean, just look at some of the titles off his new album “Damn.”

HUMBLE.

LOYALTY.

PRIDE.

LOVE.

For a program with the motto #LEO, Kendrick would really fit in with what Tom Allen is trying to accomplish here.

5. Ballantine Hall

Assistant Coach Ballantine Hall provides a lot of advantages that you can’t find with other potential assistant options. It’s structurally sound, has several stairs for running up and down, and long hallways for sprints. Also a lot of whiteboards to diagram plays, and computer screens for watching tape.

6. Old Luke Skywalker

You see that new Star Wars trailer? I think Luke could be the wise old sage we need on the sidelines to inspire wisdom to the players.

“I only know one truth: it’s time for the Buckeyes to end.”

(Hoosiers beat Ohio State by 20)

7. This IndyCar

Indiana football has had a reputation for playing fast on offense. The car shown here would help maintain that reputation.

8. Brad Stevens

Listen, all the fans made these COME HOME BRAD videos and twitter accounts, so we might as well use them for something.

9. Chuck Pagano

You gotta think that with a new GM, and two straight years of missing the playoffs in the NFL’s easiest division, that Pagano has to be on the hot seat for the Colts right now. Jumping to IU football would be a nice and easy landing spot for Pagano if the inevitable does in fact happen.

10. Wario

We’ve already been through this. If the Hoosiers want a real winner, they gotta bring Wario onboard.