I haven’t left my room in five days.
Archie Miller and Indiana Basketball are on the precipice of what could be the most important recruiting decision since Kevin “Yogi” Ferrell. For a program striving to be a part of the national conversation once again, Romeo Langford and Darius Garland represent everything that Hoosier fans have ever wanted.
Simply being considered by the duo offers a sense of national relevancy that only seems to find Bloomington in short inconsistent waves. Now, with optimism in the air and decisions looming, Archie Miller has the chance to truly establish himself as the leader of a program ready to become a powerhouse again.
So, I haven’t left my room.
Hoosier Hysteria really started it all, but this picture threw me over the edge.
Gosh I just keep thinking about what’s in everyone’s head in this picture.
Do Darius and Romeo know the whirlwind they’re creating?
Does the individual behind the camera know that he or she is taking a picture that could go down in history? Does that individual know that he or she took a picture that has left me in the fetal position in my room while an imaginary energizer bunny in my head just yells “BANNERS! BANNERS! BANNERS!” on repeat?
Does anyone know what they’re doing?!?
I have no clue if they know what they’re doing, but I at least know what I’m doing.
As I sit here overwhelmed, I have started to think about what I can do to help facilitate the recruitment of Darius Garland and Romeo Langford.
It’s almost absurd to me, a normal individual that is in no way related to any college basketball recruits, can’t have an impact on another individuals major life decision.
There must be something I can do. I can’t just sit here feeling hopeless when the future of an entire program sits in the balance. It’s time to start looking at what gets things done in our society.
Should I consider starting a protest?
No, Eddie that’s just aggressive.
Should I start tweeting at Darius and Romeo?
NO! FOLLOW THE GOLDEN RULE! NEVER TWEET AT PROSPECTS! NEVER TWEET AT 17-YEAR OLD KIDS!
Maybe I could make a major promotional video? A video that represents a movement of some sort, like Kony 2012.
(Googles “What happened to the guy from the Kony 2012 video”)
Nope. Not gonna work.
There has to be something I can do. I can’t just sit here hopeless. There has to be some sort of way to impact these individuals that are in no way related to me. Maybe I just need to establish some good karma.
What if I made some sort of sacrifice? A sacrifice to the recruiting gods.
That’s it! A sacrifice! It’s genius! Now what can I sacrifice?
I could stop eating Oreos. I love Oreos.
No, Eddie that’s too basic. You need to think of something more valuable. Look some of the greatest joys in life.
I could stop dating. I know the concept of love is one life’s greatest values. I could delete the tinder and stop shooting my shot.
No, Eddie that doesn’t really seem like much of a change. You need to actually do something that makes an impact on your life. Do something more drastic.
That’s it I’m stuck on ideas. I need to go to google here. Google helps me with everything. Time to search for “what are life’s greatest joys” and click on the first article I see.
Okay, time to see what this great article from the Odyssey on “30 Of The Greatest Joys In Life” gives me. I’m sure it will provide me a sophisticated analysis on what makes life so fruitful and dynamic.
(Does a little scrolling)
I’m not gonna lie, I have learned a lot from this piece. Finishing a to-do list is definitely something I don’t appreciate enough. I mean, talk about euphoria. But that’s not good enough I need to keep scrolling down on this artic...OH MY GOODNESS I HAVE IT!
There is nothing better than “Bra off. Hair Up. Sweatpants on.” Please present to me a greater joy. Everything in my life has come down to joy number 15.
I, Eddie Cotton, am taking a pledge to stop wearing sweatpants until Romeo Langford and Darius Garland commit to a division one basketball program.
If this doesn’t get me enough good mojo for a commitment, then I don’t know what will. With that said, I could use a little help. If you want to bring upon all the good mojo to Indiana Basketball, join the pledge. Maybe even use a hashtag or something cool.
Nah...that’s stupid. Strike the hashtag. But still, join me. Maybe jeans aren’t your thing. Give something else up. Do your part. Make a difference. And always remember the golden rule...