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Big Ten butt rankings: January 9

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So far, Big Ten basketball has pretty much been butt. Let’s rank how butt each team is.

NCAA Basketball: Illinois at Indiana Marc Lebryk-USA TODAY Sports

Normally I would do a power rankings right now. However, considering the state of B1G hoops, I’ve decided to switch things up a bit.

Behold, the Big Ten butt rankings.

In order from largest butt to smallest butt:

Buttgers

Rutger

Butt scored zero on Clemson

Ohio State

Butt the size of the State Farm Center roof

Illinois

Corn-fed Butt

Iowa

WE ARE.... Butt

Penn State

Jake Butt

Michigan

They swear their Butt is smaller than normal

Northwestern

Butt size changes between offense and defense

Indiana

Turtle shell Butt

Maryland

Butt decreases as season goes on

Michigan State

Got off social media and now has a smaller Butt

Nebraska

Row the Butt

Minnesota

Cheese curd-sized Butt

Wisconsin

Not enough Butt to moon anyone

Purdue