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Did Jim Harbaugh eat a booger? A Crimson Quarry investigation

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It’s our bye week so we have time to do some VERY SERIOUS journalism.

NCAA Football: Hawaii at Michigan Rick Osentoski-USA TODAY Sports

Michigan is 2-0 right now after two easy victories, having defeated Hawaii and Central Florida by very large margins and averaging 57 points per game. On the field, the Wolverines have not had much to write about. But off it? Well, human SEO machine and Large Adult Child Jim Harbaugh is in charge, so that means have been no shortage of stories so far, such as:

  • Not sending practice tape to Hawaii before their game!
  • Inviting famous Michigan alum Michael Jordan* to show up for the opening game!
  • Bringing up 20 year-old grudges about UCF coach Scott Frost because he allegedly said something anti-Michigan while he was Nebraska quarterback!
  • Getting “outhit,” according to Frost, despite beating the Knights by 37!
  • Having Colorado make a fake depth chart for this upcoming weekend!

* May not have gone to Michigan

But no story has left as bad of a taste (pun definitely intended) for Harbaugh as BOOGERGATE.

You see, late in the blowout over UCF, Harbaugh was caught on the ABC cameras digging for gold inside of his nose, like he was on a Double Dare obstacle course or something. Then he puts the same finger towards his mouth. All of this, of course, is happening while Harbaugh’s Wolverines are up by 37, yet still going for it on 4th-and-4 with a minute left in the game.

So, did Harbaugh actually eat the booger? That’s what we’re here to find out.

LET’S ROLL THE TAPE:

Alright, time to go through this frame by frame.

1. The Pick

Hold up. Does his thumb actually go into his nose? Or is he just scratching his upper lip? His thumb appears to be pointing down here and not exactly entering his nostril. His index finger is also pushed against his nose. While this may move the right nostril closer to his thumb, it also limits the amount of space he has to pick at it. Seems inconvenient.

2. The Examination

So here’s the thing. College football games can last a long time, and you’re going to get hungry out there after almost four hours of coaching. And he did just move his thumb from near his nose to near his teeth. But is his thumb actually in his mouth? Looks to me like his index finger is what might be going inside, and from the first frame it’s clear that his index finger does not touch inside the nose.

3. The Swallow?

Hard to tell from this facial expression if this looks like a man who just ate something. Is he disgusted by what he just put in his mouth? Or his he contemplating how cool it’s going to be when he converts on 4th down late in the game with a huge lead? Or is he flashing back to the Michigan State game and realizing that he probably does not want to punt again with time running out?

So there’s your evidence. Jim Harbaugh has denied not only eating this booger, but eating ANY booger in his life. His brother John has also said it never happened.

You know which family member hasn’t weighed in on this controversy though? That’s right.

Unfortunately, after this very thorough investigation, I cannot find enough evidence that Harbaugh actually picked a booger, or that he actually consumed something late in his team’s romp over UCF.

FINAL VERDICT: Jim Harbaugh did NOT eat a booger on the sidelines during a 37-point victory.

And if I’m wrong and he did eat a booger, then I only have one thing to say:

The Pick Was Good.

Michigan next plays against Colorado on Saturday. Tune into BTN at 3:30pm to see if this happens again.