It’s a bye week, folks, and you know what that means: nobody has anything good to do on Saturday. So we thought we’d be nice helpful blogger boys and put together some ideas for what you can do to occupy yourselves while the Hoosiers take a short break. LET’S HEAR WHAT YOU’VE GOT. IT’S SLACK CHAT TIME.
Alex Robbins: You obviously have to start your day with some breakfast so get up and go to Village Deli or BTown Diner. Get there early for two reasons: one, so you can avoid the undergrads, a must on any weekend in Bloomington, and two, so you have time to mow the lawn, drop a deuce, or do whatever it is that you do on Saturday mornings before the noon kickoffs.
Thomas: Or, if you’re going with Runcible Spoon, get there really early. Otherwise you won’t be eating before noon, much less watching football.
Kyle Swick: You know I never ate at Runcible Spoon?
Ben Raphel: Heathen.
Swick: Seems like a giant hole in my experience in Bloomington.
Kyle Robbins: I, too, have never eaten at Runcible Spoon.
Ben: C'mon, guys.
Thomas: It’s gotta be a bye week option. That’s the only time it works, because of how long it can take. Never go if you have a schedule to keep, otherwise it’s top of your list. Or I guess a night game. It’s 100% worth it though.
Ben: Or, if you feel like getting up realllly early, head down to Louisville for College Gameday and think about WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN.
Thomas: crying jordan dot jpg
Kyle Robbins: I mean, there’s no way in hell I’m coming to Bloomington on a bye week. A couple trips a week up and down 37 to finish my wonderful legal education — that’s plenty. Saturdays are a pain as is. No game, no way in hell I’m leaving the Nap for any reason.
Stay home. Do things with your non-football watching friends. Like, go to a park and drink beer or something!
Swick: I typically use the bye week to step away from college football, save whatever the night game is, but usually the Hoosiers have a soul-crusing loss or two by then. Not the case this time. I’m definitely going to be paying close attention to MSU / ND.
Kyle Robbins: Wait, can you drink beer in a park?
Swick: How discrete can you be?
Ben: My parents are not football fans. They visited on a bye week since it was a lot cheaper. Highly recommend a parental visit this weekend if you are looking for parents to treat you to good dinners.
Jacob Rude: You can spend your Saturday going door to door asking neighbors to vote Tom Allen for governor.
Thomas: Open container laws in Indianapolis, babby.
[THIS IS NOT LEGAL ADVICE]
Swick: I think drinking beer in public spaces shouldn't be as shameful as it is. It's a nice day! I want one beer!
Kyle Robbins: There are three lawyers in this slackchat and none are familiar with open container laws, I guess. Including me!
Swick: Most parks I frequent have signs forbidding alcohol, so even if you've got lax container laws you can't drink in a park.
Ben: I thought there weren't laws in Hendricks County
Swick: More like guidelines.
Thomas: As a staff heavy in law-talking guys and functioning alcoholics, this seems like something we ought to have a better handle on.
Speaking of Simpsons references, usually my non-IU Saturdays are reserved for one thing. OPEN WIDE FOR SOME SOCCER
Kyle Robbins: [big wanking motion]
Thomas: Now you can pretty easily watch Premier League and Bundesliga games, and since Indy Eleven is actually good now they’re definitely worth your time too. Since all non-Hoosier college football is pointless.
YOUR MILEAGE MAY VARY
Kyle Robbins: I’d like to clarify I do in fact enjoy soccer. I do not enjoy waking at 7am to do so. No.
Alex Robbins: As Crimson Quarry's resident non-fan of soccer, I encourage all of our readers to avoid wasting 90+ minutes on a perfectly good Saturday.
Ben: Or you could travel somewhere! I myself will be in DC this weekend. Of course I'll be spending most of the weekend catching up with friends/family and...uhh...watching college football.
Thomas: Bundesliga has 2:30pm Saturday games, my friend
And it’s lit af.
Jacob: Indy Eleven are at home on Saturday. Would highly recommend.
Thomas: Speaking of drinking in public, it is not only accepted at Indy Eleven games, but also encouraged.
Swick: Y'all are missing out. This past Saturday I got up at 7:30 to watch soccer on a rainy morning and it was sublime.
Kyle Robbins: Children sound miserable, KS.
Thomas: I drank a pint of gin at a tailgate one year. Didn’t remember a second of the game. It was wonderful.
Jacob: Unfortunately for Swick, Manchester United did not wake up until 30 minutes after the match started.
Swick: This is violence.
PARENTAL NOTE: the child did not wake up for the soccer.
She did not wake up at all, in fact.
Thomas: Just in case CPS reads this?
Jacob: Like the kick, the child was good.
Swick: The child did wake up eventually, allow me to rephrase.
MOVE ALONG, COPS.
Kyle Robbins: I have a duty to report this to the police.
Ben: #Actually this weekend owns for CFB. FSU at Louisville. OSU at Oklahoma. Bama at Ole Miss. Sparty at Notre Dame. Texas at Cal for #pac12afterdark. So yeah, don't leave your couch all weekend.
Thomas: Yeah, I honestly would be interested in a few of those games. Especially MSU-ND. Someone has to lose, and either way it’s going to be enjoyable for me.
Kyle Robbins: Yeah, I’m gonna say this is your weekend to go live it up at another CFB game. Y’all should do that.
Here’s another bye week idea: kayaking.
Ben: Drive 2 hours to Louisville, make a funny sign about UK losing to IU for Gameday, and scalp a ticket to watch Jimbo lose. That's my official recommendation.
Thomas: I think if I tried to kayak I would probably die. I already almost lost (the rest of) my arm rock climbing.
Swick: Any sort of self-propelled boating down a local river is a great idea. Load up a cooler of beer and food, disappear downstream for eight hours.
Kyle Robbins: Have y’all seen the algae bloom in the White River in Broad Ripple? KAYAKING IS ONLY FUN IF THERE’S A SMALL CHANCE YOUR SKIN FALLS OFF.
Thomas: Boats are a great idea though. Especially if you can sit on one while someone else pilots (drives?) it.
Alex: If I still lived in Indiana, I'd be in Crawfordsville this weekend. Not saying it's a destination, but as a reminder for folks: There are several quality non-Division I football teams in Indiana. Wabash, Marian, UIndy, Franklin, and unfortunately even DePauw. Plenty of opportunity to see some good college football played by a lot of local guys.
Kyle Robbins: You could, like, go on a date.
Thomas: What the hell is a Date?
Ben: Isn't it a fruit, like a raisin?
Kyle Robbins: For y’all, probably.
Thomas: It’s an old, old wooden ship, from the Civil War.
But yeah, I guess if you can find someone who can stand your presence for more than thirty consecutive minutes, a date is a good idea.
Ben: You know what isn't a quality football team in Indiana? The Colts.
(Admit it, you thought I would say Purdue.)
Thomas: I was expecting that to be a Purdue joke, honestly.
Is Purdue on a bye this weekend? You could watch them and laugh!
Alex: Carson Wentz wins one football game and Ben's ready to get cheese whiz on everything.
Swick: Cheese Wentz
Ben: My fantasy team is named Dollars and Wentz.
Adam Jacobi named it.
Jacob: You can have a date at the IU men's soccer game on Sunday where there are lots of Good Kicks.
Thomas: Sadly there is no Purdue game to MST3K this weekend. Damn schedulers.
Jacob: Notre Dame plays Michigan State, if you want to see the second-best college football team in Indiana take on the Spartans.
Thomas: Borussia Dortmund plays Darmstadt 98 at 9:30 on Saturday, I’m just saying.
Ben: Darmstadt 98 seems like a slogan for a failed political campaign from 1998.
A few good date spots in Bloomington: Function, Anatolia, Serendipity, Sweetgrass
Swick: Did Ben just name restaurants or his four beautiful daughters?
Thomas: I was very concerned they might be strip clubs.
I actually Googled one.
Jacob: Naming your child Function would be v bad imo.
Thomas: PRO TIP: don’t go to Night Moves on a bye week. Or any other time.
Alex: There's plenty of other opportunity to find debauchery and degeneracy without going to Night Moves.
Thomas: Yeah, like at Sports.
Alex: Alley Bar and The Vid are open late.
Thomas: You could even do that on Friday since you don’t have a game on Saturday to worry about.
Ben: Apparently the doorman at the Vid was in a band.
I only learned that recently and Mike Miller was like, “Ben how'd you not know that?”
Moral of this story is to READ MIKE MILLER.
Kyle Robbins: Don’t go out anywhere in Bloomington if you’re over, like, 24 imo
Except for Nick's.
Kyle Robbins: SEE Y’ALL IN FOUNTAIN SQUARE
I AM #HIP AND #COOL
Swick: That's where I go to be with my fellow Olds
Alex: There are some places that are fine for adults. Nick's, Upland, Yogi's, The Tap.
Thomas: Nah, if you’re smart about it you can still have a good time.
Just 1) know what you’re getting into, and 2) have a fake major in mind.
That might be another roundtable of its own, though.