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Crimson Quarry dot com is here for you, the reader. Rather than just provide you with the latest in Indiana athletics news and leave you to digest it yourself, we're here to help you break it down. When a big recruit pops for the Hoosiers, we're here to tell you what it means. When the rest of the internet is mad at Tom Crean, we're here to tell you that most things are probably fine. And when I can find a way to tangentially write about Plies on this here website, YOU BEST BELIEVE I'M GONNA DO IT.
Here is a video posted on Instagram of the Indiana basketball team dancing before a game on the floor.
Wait, are they really dancing? This looks like they're just running in place?
Yes and yes! This is a dance, because dancing can be whatever you'd like it to be. This dance is called "Running Off On The Plug" specifically.
I've never heard of this. Where did it come from?
"Running Off On The Plug" comes from the relatively new Plies song entitled "Ritz Carlton." In this song, Plies, the artist you may know from timeless classics such as "Becky" and "Hypnotized," details his luxurious life. Such items in his luxurious life include:
- a large number of lawyers of a certain faith
- eating lots of fruit
- a pinky ring he spent $250,000 on
- referencing that this pinky ring worth more than, like, you
- and his ability to "run off on the plug" multiple times and not answer his phone calls, afterward
Wait, this seems bad. What is "running off on the plug?"
"Running off on the plug" refers to the act of taking drugs from one's "plug," or drug dealer without paying. Plies, as stated, discusses this in the above song while doing this dance below.
WAIT, a dance about drugs? Isn't this indicative of Tom Crean's problem with player discipline at Indiana?
No. It's a rap song. Shut up. Everyone's doing it.
So, you condone drug use?
No. This is a rap song. I enjoy the soft, sultry, & slurred bars of Future, but I don't slowly sip on a "Dirty Sprite" whilst.
What's Dirty Sprite? I've never seen that in stores.
Ask something else.
Okay, if I hear this "Ritz Carlton" song, how should I react do it? How do I run off on the plug?
Great question. Here are the Indiana basketball players featured in the above clip, ranked by their ability to run off on the plug.*
* - the dance you idiot the dance not actually steal drugs
1. Rob Johnson
Rob is the ringleader here. He might be struggling on the court as of late a bit, but his interpretive Plies' dancing post-drug-transaction non-payment is 100, as the kids say. He's confident, the arms are tight and high, it's overall a good performance. PLIES FRUIT SNACKS: 5/5
2. Thomas Bryant
Bryant's work in the film room is clear -- he understand's Plies' abrupt and liquor-influenced pseudostrides away from his drug dealer. However, Plies is a small man and Bryant is not. Any dance that involves running in place is far more suited for a smaller individual, and Bryant's freakish wingspan just makes him look goofy as all get out. Yet, Bryant and Johnson's works are complimentary together. It fits, here. PLIES FRUIT SNACKS: 4/5.
3. Max Bielfeldt
Max, on the far right of the video, reflects the same skills Hoosier fans see on the court when it comes to dancing to a song off a Plies mixtape. He's smiling, he's got some rhythm. But he also knows better. "Yes. This is good. I am enjoying this. I am culturally aware of Plies and his songs and I like them. This is funny and good when my teammates do this. But if I do this, I will not do it well and then look very dumb." Every good Plies dance circle needs one who appreciates the dancers, and Max, as a heady teammate, does this well. PLIES FRUIT SNACKS: 3/5.
4. Tim Priller
Tim. TIM. Indiana basketball's favorite lovable dork is in the back, either attempting to run off from the plug or lovingly skipping down the Yellow Brick Road. Does Tim know what this dance is? Probably, but maybe not. Priller's moves here are so out of form that he might have thought that this was some dance along to whatever The Verve song was part of Indiana's equally dorky yet mildly iconic pregame mix. But that's okay. Tim is having a good time, dancing, you know, livin' it up! Do you, Tim. We can't all know how to enjoy this very good and fun thing the right way, like, say, Max Bielfeldt. PLIES FRUIT SNACKS: 1/5.