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THE HATER'S TRAVEL GUIDE: WAKE FOREST UNIVERSITY

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THE DEMON DEACON SMOKES HIS WINSTONS WITH HIS KIDS IN THE CAR. AND KEEP THOSE WINDOWS ROLLED UP SON, IT'S COLD OUT

Tim Boyle/Getty Images

Ed note: We don't really have anything against Wake Forest, but it's fun to say mean things about people online. The guys over at Blogger So Dear are very nice, and you should check 'em out. *fin*

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

WHEN INDIANA MARCHES INTO WAKE FOREST'S STADIUM WHICH I DEFINITELY THINK IS CALLED RJ REYNOLDS FIELD OR SOMETHING AND WINS BY 100 PRINT THIS QUOTE ON EVERY DAMN T-SHIRT IN THE LAND

"WE ARE GOING TO KICK WAKE FOREST'S ASS"

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOwait hold on wait what why wake forest this is so random and

okay whatever fine

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RUN IT UP KEV, RUN THAT DANG THING UP

HATER'S GUIDE BACK

YOUR TOWN: WINSTON SALEM, NORTH CAROLINA

What is a Winston-Salem, North Carolina?

Hey, you know what is a good thing? CIGARETTES. You know who gave us Cigarettes? WINSTON-SALEM. The secondhand smoke got to these dang people so bad they literally named the town for the two empty cartons laying in the floor board. Winston-Salem is home to RJ Reynolds, which makes a bunch of tobacco products like cigarettes (probably just formaldehyde & ammonia sticks) and dip (yay, glass shards!) that have been killing people for centuries. What a good place! This entire town and university are flush with money made from a product that took years off the lives of millions worldwide. The Demon Deacon is very literally a death merchant. Want to know what's paying for Dave Clawson's contract?

SMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOCKIN'.

VISITING WINSTON-SALEM

How does one get to Winston-Salem?

drive i guess idk

What is there to do for fun in Winston-Salem?

Uhhhhhhh. Here, check out a tour of the WINSTON-SALEM TOBACCO HISTORIC DISTRICT! Check out where we made billions off a product that, you know, killed people! There's also plenty of other things to do like:

and:

Winston-Salem is a discount tobacco outlet that doubles as a pawn shop for old Earnhardt die casts.

/raises three fingers

RIP, Intimidator.

Are there any famous folks from Wake Forest or Winston-Salem?

There's Chris Paul, the NBA's version of a subtweet with great court vision! Chris Paul is so dang awful that a hapless NBA Jam character almost left a title contender to play with ... Devin Harris? Wes Matthews! Old Dirk! This is what happens when you remove a man from a town with enough nicotine in the air to prompt Knozone warnings and force him to act like a normal human:

There's also Tim Duncan, who is a half-gallon of skim milk in poorly-fitting clothing.

YOUR FOOTBALL TEAM

Is Wake Forest any good?

PROBABLY NOT

#IUFB4GAMEDAY

#IUFB4GAMEDAY

#IUFB4GAMEDAY

#IUFB4GAMEDAY

#IUFB4GAMEDAY

#IUFB4GAMEDAY

(we're going to lose by 50 and it's our fault)

#IUFB4GAMEDAY

#IUFB4GAMEDAY

(someone bring me a horse tranquilizer)

#IUFB4GAMEDAY

#IUFB4GAMEDAY

#IUFB4GAMEDAY