O CANNNNNNNNNNNNDA, I STAND ON GUARD FOR CREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN
ILLINOIS - Average! Forgettable! Tim Beckman!
Iowa - Corn, large people, Adam Jacobi, punting.
Maryland - White people playing lacrosse!
SUBURBAN TORONTO, BUT NOT THE ACTUAL CITY.
Michigan - Self-important former powerhouse that hasn't been relevant in years
Michigan State - place where Detroit people go to have fun
Minnesota - wait why is--
Nebraska -- everyone likes Larry The Cable Guy
Northwestern -- "hey have i ever told you about my Medill degr--"
CANCELLED TALK SHOW ON TSN.
Ohio State -- makes all the important decisions and stuff, let's be honest
Penn State -- owned by Terry Pegula, too
TORONTO (BUT NOT UNTIL THE LEASE EXPIRES IN 2018).
Purdue - Positives: Gold! Negatives: cold, lonely nights of sobbing quietly into your pillow
Wisconsin - pretty cool, lots of underage drinking
Rutgers - ugggggggggg