BIG TEN SCHOOLS, LIKENED TO THE CITY WHERE THEY WOULD BE MOST APPROPRIATE IN CANADA

BY SOMEONE WHO HAS NEVER BEEN TO CANADA OR KNOWS ANYTHING ABOUT CANADIAN CULTURE MOLSONS AND MOOSES AND MAPLE SYRUP AMIRITE

By Kyle Robbins@kylerrobbins Jul 1, 2015, 3:15pm EDT

O CANNNNNNNNNNNNDA, I STAND ON GUARD FOR CREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

ILLINOIS - Average! Forgettable! Tim Beckman!

WINNIPEG.

INDIANA -

QUEBEC CITY.

Iowa - Corn, large people, Adam Jacobi, punting.

MOOSE JAW.

Maryland - White people playing lacrosse!

SUBURBAN TORONTO, BUT NOT THE ACTUAL CITY.

Michigan - Self-important former powerhouse that hasn't been relevant in years

TORONTO

Michigan State - place where Detroit people go to have fun

WINDSOR.

Minnesota - wait why is--

MINNESOTA.

Nebraska -- everyone likes Larry The Cable Guy

CALGARY.

Northwestern -- "hey have i ever told you about my Medill degr--"

CANCELLED TALK SHOW ON TSN.

Ohio State -- makes all the important decisions and stuff, let's be honest

OTTAWA.

Penn State -- owned by Terry Pegula, too

TORONTO (BUT NOT UNTIL THE LEASE EXPIRES IN 2018).

Purdue - Positives: Gold! Negatives: cold, lonely nights of sobbing quietly into your pillow

YUKON TERRITORY.

Wisconsin - pretty cool, lots of underage drinking

MONTREAL.

Rutgers - ugggggggggg