A dude from Bedford just whipped butt on American Ninja Warrior and should be deemed a dang national hero

hey just sat down to watch some television

lesssee what's on the ol' television

*flips to NBC*

THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Please note the "USED TO TAKE BATHS IN THE RIVER" at the beginning there. This man is Bedford, all of the Bedford, and I love him. He is a cult hero. When I tell you I am from Bedford from now on, please never again remark "OH DAMON BAILEY!" I am from Bedford, home of PJ Granger, who uses dang BRIDGE UNDERPASSES AS MONKEY BARS.

TAKE IT AWAY, JOHN DENVER:

This is everything. This is the best sports thing. It is the only sports thing. This man whipped this course's behind like only a Bedford Man would do, after sleeping in a tent for TEN DAYS. He also did some concrete work for my parents, and my Dad remarked that he was a "really nice guy" -- so there's that.

BUT LET'S STAY ON BRAND, SET IT TO PONY:

GO PJ GRANGER, GOD AMONG MEN AND FUTURE AMERICAN NINJA WARRIOR CHAMPION.