:format(webp)/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/45712054/usa-today-8301257.0.jpg)
Elite Daily wrote this article back in the fall, choosing all time teams for each of the rivalries and turning it into a LISTICLE. Since this is 2015, it's circulating today because rivalry week and OOOLOOKFANCYGRAPHICS. Read through the piece and you'll see that this writer has a ton of experience in college basketball, such as:
- used to play NCAA FINAL FOUR 2002 a ton, man
- read a couple wikipedia articles about it
- follows Jay Bilas on twitter (HAHA, HE TWEETS ABOUT JEEZY, HOW RELATABLE)
Exhibit, one:
:format(webp):no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/3420276/Screen_Shot_2015-02-17_at_5.53.37_PM.0.png)
This is not the most egregious exampe (SEE, BREVIN NIGHT) -- but exactly one of these players made it past his sophomore season at Indiana. But it's okay! You go to Elite Daily for real, substantive reporting on the issues that matter. They don't have time to know about college basketball! WE'RE HERE TO HELP.
THE REVISED RIVALRY ROSTERS, BUT NOT ALL OF THEM BECAUSE I'M LAZY, RANKED IN SOME ARBITRARY MANNER:
10. ILLINOIS - MISSOURI
| Illinois | Missouri |
| James Augustine | Frank Haith |
| Deon Thomas | Frank Haith |
| Bruce Pearl's tape recorder | Frank Haith |
| #DREAMKILLER | Frank Haith |
| some ice thrown at Eric Gordon's parents | Frank Haith |
9. OHIO STATE-MICHIGAN
| Ohio State | Michigan |
| Cardale Jones | Jim Harbaugh |
| Eddie George | Tom Brady |
| DeVier Posey | Braylon Edwards |
| AJ Hawk | Tractor Traylor |
| Maurice Clarett | aw shit wait wrong sport |
8. LOUISVILLE - KENTUCKY
| Louisville | Kentucky |
| DENNY CRUM | Trey Lyles |
| Pervis Ellison | a range rover |
| a chicken-potato bowl | home for Trey Lyles' parents |
| horses? | what else do 18-year olds like |
| Jon Bois | FIRST ROUND DRAFT PICK! |
7. UCLA - USC
| UCLA | USC |
| Ed O'Bannon | Nick Young |
| steve | OJ Mayo |
| alford | Brian Scalabrine |
| to | DACOACHO |
| indiana | DeMar DeRozan |
6. CINCINNATI - XAVIER
5. INDIANA - PURDUE
| Indiana | Purdue |
| Damon Bailey | Robbie Hummel |
| Truth From Evansville | BIG DOG |
| a kilroy's breadstick | pristine turfgrass |
| hold on adjusting my pants | did you know we landed on the moon |
| "BANNNERZZZ BRO" |
Chris Kramer's jawline |
4. DUKE - NORTH CAROLINA
| Duke | North Carolina |
| Carlos Boozer | Eric Montross |
| some jeezy lyrics | tobacco products |
| #PEAKCAUCASITY | the 2000 final four team i liked them |
| Mercer | Michael Jordan |
| Cherokee Parks | old Michael Jordan |
3. GEORGETOWN - VILLANOVA
| Georgetown | Villanova |
| Allen Iverson | Kyle Lowry |
| BIDEN | a Kyle Lowry trade rumor |
| legislative gridlock | hey jay wright looks like clooney |
| Ewing's knees | who else plays for villanova |
| playoff Roy Hibbert | fine another Lowry trade rumor |
2. IOWA - IOWA STATE
| Iowa | Iowa State |
| Luke Recker | Marcus Fizer |
| Roy Marble | Fred Hoiberg |
| a punt | Jamaal Tinsley, fresh out of a strip club brawl |
| *eyepoke* | a very inspiring but ineffective paul rhoads speech |
| corn | corn |
1. TENNESSEE - MEMPHIS
| Tennessee | Memphis |
| Chris Lofton | FAT PENNY |
| NO KALIN LUCAS WHY | Darius Washington, Jr. |
| David Cutcliffe | DJ Paul, on the set of his cooking show |
| go-kart tracks | Project Pat |
| a women's player | Juicy J |
thanks, come back soon to crimson quarry dot com for more great basketball analysis