INTRODUCING THE RUTGERS DISRESPECT SCALE

Hi folks. I know we're still upset about Saturday's game . You may have also seen that in the comments of our objective, stats-based preview, Rutgers fans accused us of disrespecting their team because we said that the numbers indicated an Indiana win.

However, it turns out that Indiana fans aren't the only ones disrespecting the Scarlet Knights! This has led me to develop something called the RUTGERS DISRESPECT SCALE, which measures how much every B1G school has disrespected Rutgers recently. The scale goes from 1-10, with 1 being the least amount of disrespect and 10 being incredibly disrespectful to Rutgers. And to help me out, I've gotten an actual Rutgers fan* to comment on how much disrespect and anti-Rutgers bias there is at each place. So here we go!

* No actual Rutgers fans were consulted during the writing of this article

Note to Rutgers fans: This is satire. Gallows humor, if you will. And if you're angry about this then you're proving my point. Cool.

ILLINOIS

Rutgers Disrespect Score: 10

"OH YEAH? Well Illinois says it plays in Champaign huh? That's DISRESPECT because it's gonna be REAL PAIN not SHAM PAIN when the Illini play Rutgers!"

INDIANA

Rutgers Disrespect Score: 10

"OH YEAH? Well Indiana said they were gonna beat us by 50 and look what happened! Get your nerdy DISRESPECTING stats outta the way, nerd!

(does extremely nerdy voice)
I am an Indiana fan. I have calculated the outcome of every football game for the next 20 years with my calculator because I am a nerd.
(ends nerdy voice)

HEY INDIANA: Only stat I care about is SCOREBOARD!"

IOWA

Rutgers Disrespect Score: 10

"OH YEAH? Well I don't know if you heard but right now there's an election going on, and Chris Christie isn't doing so well in Iowa. Hey Iowa folks, when you disrespect Christie, you disrespect Jersey. And when you disrespect Jersey, well... THAT'S RUTGERS DISRESPECT RIGHT THERE."

MARYLAND

Rutgers Disrespect Score: 10

"OH YEAH? Well it was REAL DISRESPECTFUL of these guys to enter the Big Ten at the same time as us! Couldn't let us have the spotlight to ourselves, huh Maryland?"

MICHIGAN

Rutgers Disrespect Score: 10

"OH YEAH? Well talk about some DISRESPECT TO RUTGERS on that final play last weekend. We spiked the ball on fourth down against Sparty, and what does Michigan do but one-up us the next week! Complete disrespect!

And by the way, the only stat I know is that we beat Michigan last year, so we're bound to beat them again this year! Mark that one down, NERDS."

MICHIGAN STATE

Rutgers Disrespect Score: 10

"OH YEAH? Well just look at their mascot!

And look at ours!

TOTAL DISRESPECT to copy our great mascot and be more jacked up than ours, bro!"

MINNESOTA

Rutgers Disrespect Score: 10

"OH YEAH? Well you guys still have never played us in football! What R U, scared to face Rutgers? No, I think you're just being DISRESPECTFUL of the Scarlet Knights and their proud football tradition and how they've been to 9 bowl games in the last 10 years!"

NEBRASKA

Rutgers Disrespect Score: 10

"OH YEAH? Well calling their team Nebraska without even mentioning the classic Springsteen album is COMPLETE DISRESPECT to the Boss, and by extension, to Rutgers as well!

BRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCE"

NORTHWESTERN

Rutgers Disrespect Score: 10

"OH YEAH? Well I hear Northwestern calls themselves Chicago's Big Ten Team. And I think THAT'S DISRESPECT to Chicago's REAL Big Ten Team, RUTGERS!"

OHIO STATE

Rutgers Disrespect Score: 10

"OH YEAH? Well when OSU won the national title last year, I didn't hear A SINGLE WORD OF CREDIT to the original college football champions from 1869, which of course, was Rutgers University. Another instance of DISRESPECT to this elite academic institution! Without us, you wouldn't even be here!"

PENN STATE

Rutgers Disrespect Score: 10

"OH YEAH? Well what do you mean you guys don't think you're our rivals? Why R U DISRESPECTING to your most bitter rival of them all!"

PURDUE

Rutgers Disrespect Score: 10

"OH YEAH? Well I hear these Purdue folks always talking about their famous alums. WELL THAT'S DISRESPECT to not mention Rutgers and all their great alums as well! Like Carli Lloyd! And Todd Frazier! And half the guys on the Patriots! And...

uhh

well

Just go on Wikipedia you'll find a bunch!"

WISCONSIN

Rutgers Disrespect Score: 10

"OH YEAH? Well it was REAL DISRESPECTFUL of Wisconsin not to let us score ANY POINTS on our Homecoming game last year! That's not being nice visitors, ya know!"

BONUS - THE MEDIA

Rutgers Disrespect Score: 10

"OH YEAH? Well why's the media gotta be all like Rutgers did this bad thing and Rutgers did that bad thing all the time, huh? THAT'S DISRESPECT, yo! Why can't the media focus on all the good things happening here? Like...

uhh

well

They're the media they're the ones who should be finding these stories!

That means you, NJ DOT COM! Yeah that's right, come at me Steve Politi. Meet me in Asbury Park!"