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HOOSIER FUNBAG: Troy Williams' draft stock, coaching changes, and what to wear to work

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A FALLACIOUS TROY WILLIAMS LOVE STORY, WHY YOU SHOULD'T WEAR TIGHTS AT THE GYM, AND A GUEST APPEARANCE FROM DACOACHO ON CAJUN FARE.

Trevor Ruszkowski-USA TODAY Sports

Time for a quick HOOSIER FUNBAG to prep for tonight's Maryland-Indiana matchup at Assembly Hall. Need a preview of the game? GET ONE HERE. The Hoosiers take on the Terps tonight, at 9PM, on ESPNU.

THE HEADLINES

First question comes in two related parts:

Here's a disclaimer: I have no real inside information regarding as to what Troy Williams or those close to him may or may not be thinking in regard to declaring for the Draft after the season. But I can tell you that those around the association are, seemingly, high on Williams. Especially, maybe, the Sixers. Here is my weird, tangential, probably fallacious love story about Troy Williams and the Sixers.

I sat next to Sixers GM Sam Hinkie and another NBA scout for the entirety of the Crossroads Classic. They were there to watch one player -- Troy Williams. Hinkie especially took a ton of notes on Troy and didn't spend too much time with the notebook open on anyone else. What does that mean? Probably not a ton. NBA GMs are NBA GMs for a reason -- they do a ton of a scouting of collegiate players, especially in the midst of a rebuild. But why would Hinkie himself travel out of his way to scout a player that might not even be considering coming out in next years' draft?

From working in the business, I can tell you that draft-types and media folks tend to be about a month or two behind league personnel when it comes to "DRAFT BUZZ." Guys meet with agents during the season (yes, that's legal) and word travels around when it comes to whether or not a player is or is not considering declaring. I'm rambling here, but my point is this -- I don't believe Sam Hinkie would make a trip out of his way HIMSELF to watch, essentially, a single player in December if he didn't think there was a better-than-average chance that player would declare for the following season's Draft. I trust what he knows about Williams' interest in declaring more than my own prognostications. Basically, where there's smoke, there's fire.

But here's the catch: if the Sixers were so curious about drafting Williams, where would they take him? Likely, the Sixers will have a Top-5 pick, another mid-first-round pick, and then FIVE picks in the second. Initially, as soon as I saw Hinkie looking at Troy, instantly thought "boom, they're looking at him as a second, he won't leave if he's projected as a second." WELL ACTUALLY, Hinkie & the Sixers are likely gonna package a couple of those picks together and move up into the late-first, too. And, just for context, take a look at a mock draft. Anybody listed behind Troy that really jumps off the page as someone that you'd take ahead of him? Naaaaaaaaaah.

I'd bet a dumptruck of cash that, if he comes out, Troy Williams will be drafted somewhere between 18th and 35th overall. No worse. No better. Should he consider leaving? Absolutely. Will that be enough to draw him away from Bloomington? Hard to tell. If you're putting a gun to my head, I think he's gone at the end of the year. But that's a guess, and nothing more.

NEXT QUESTION.

I've said it once and I'll say it again: pending an unforseen act of god, Tom Crean will be the coach of this basketball team in 2015-16, and that's a right he's earned and more. The only other coach really discussed in conjunction with the HOT SEAT moniker before the season was Mark Turgeon -- another who's certainly coached his way off of it this season.

Who does that leave? Even in the midst of struggles, it's far too early to place Richard Pitino or Chris Collins' jobs in jeopardy at Minnesota or Northwestern. It's year three of the John Groce era at Illinois and he's been saddled with injury problems. The only move I can see occurring after this season might be Pat Chambers being shown the door at Penn State, if any. I'll set the O/U at 0.5, but give me the over. Sorry, Pat.

MOVING ON.

DEEP CUTS

That's one shirt. There's no way any reasonable human buys that many of a single style of checked shirts. You can't do that with checks. Checks are far to recognizable. Here is a comprehensive list of clothing items of which you can buy numerous identical styles and no one will think you are creepy/weird/do not bathe/do not launder:

  • All undergarments (boxers, undershirts, etc). They all look alike, mostly.
  • Blue jeans. Jeans are jeans. I have four identical pairs of the same style of jeans. No one notices or cares, presumably. Or no one has said anything, because I have no true friends.
  • Socks. Buying the same style of sock is more a necessity to prevent single sock casualties.
  • Non-checked, solid-color dress shirts to be worn at work, only. You can be the guy that wears a rotating combination of blue/white dress shirts and complimentary tie to work every other day. No one will notice, really. You are the Glade Plug-in of the office. Probably smell nice, no one notices you. This is not recommended, but better than wearing the SAME THING EVERY DAY TOM.
  • Workout attire. No one cares what you are wearing while you exercise. Buy your gym shorts in a crate from Costco, for god sakes. You should be praised for working out, and there will always be some jackass at LA Fitness wearing something far more weird than you. Like me! I wear running tights at the gym. I'm a male. I have been told this is weird, which it is. Don't wear running tights at the gym, if you are a male.
SOMEONE FIND THOMAS A NICE CLOTHIER. NEXT QUESTION.

Sean Kline. Tonga.

ONE MORE.

Like, what does turtle taste like, even? I have no idea. BUT I KNOW WHO WOULD. TELL 'EM ABOUT IT JOJO.

"DAW DACOACHO THINK YA PUT THE TURTLE MEAT THRU DA DERE A-SHREDDUH AND GOTTA ADD IT ON ONE-UH-DEM-DERUH SPINACH WRAPS AND DA SHREDDED CARROTS, I WOULD TRYA ADD SOMMMUH DAT BLOOOMINFOODS UH DER UH GARLIC MAYO, DACOACHO TRYIN TO INCREASE MUH FIBER INTAKE AND DAT DERRUH SHREDDED DELI TURTLE IS UH REAL NICE DER ON A SADDURDAY MORNIN DOWN ON DA BAYOU WIT DEM DER COACH MILES."

DACOACHO